About Us

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After an 8 year battle with infertility and countless struggles, our family is finally complete. This blog chronicles the journey it took for us to start and build the family we always wanted. Background on the blog (started in 2012, just days before I found out the embryo transfer for our son worked).... I decided to start a blog after realizing I have only been able to make it through my TWW's (two week waits) with the help of Google and with the openness of other women suffering from infertility sharing their own stories and giving others hope. I have time and time again found my exact symptoms on other women's blogs and felt an overwhelming sense of calmness they provided me. I thought it was time to pay it forward and hopefully provide this same thing to other women on their own journeys.

Tuesday, March 29, 2016

8w0d - Ultrasound!!

Well, I caved and requested another sono.  I had spotting last Friday, so I used it as an excuse.  I felt guilty weaseling in to the books for an appointment, but I am just getting so close to the date we lost our Angel last fall (9w4d).   Our babies looked absolutely great today!  

Baby A measured 8w?d and had a heart rate of 164bpm.  
Baby B measured 8w1d and had a heart rate of 165bpm.  

Mike and I are so in love with these two.  Praying to God to keep these babies in our lives!!!


Another cool image I stumbled upon is this.... what fraternal twins look like in the womb at 8 weeks!  I am exactly 8 weeks today so our beans most likely resemble this!


I think our ultrasounds resemble this drawing pretty well!  Praying they are perfect!!


Annnnd, I saw this today.  So very fitting....


Thursday, March 24, 2016

7w2d - Lovenox Doc

I am DESPERATELY seeking a doctor to help me with lovenox.  My OB was pretty shocked I was even on it.   I am on it because I have the MTHFR heterozygous c677t mutation and after my loss last fall of a normal girl,  I am grasping at straws as to what caused that and how to prevent it from happening to the twins.   The MTHFR mutation has been linked with early pregnancy loss because of clotting.  My RE gave me a script for it to last through my first trimester.  I would like to be on it until week 35 and then switch to heparin (a less form).   Anyways, I asked my OB's office for a referral to a local hematologist and a referral to an MFM that travels to Erie to see high risk patients.  I hope they give me both.  In the meantime I also contacted Cleveland Clinic to see an MFM there.  Erie is a little behind on stuff and Cleveland may give me better care.

I also had a tiny bit of brown spotting again today.

My next sono isn't for 5 whole weeks!  I'll be 12 weeks already by the time it happens.  I asked my OB if we could do another one before then (because of my loss at 9.5 weeks) and she said not officially but she did say she'd be okay with me calling in and saying I'm "cramping" or "spotting" (this one would actually be true) and I could get one.  She asked I didn't do it more than once a week.  I won't.  But now I'm debating when I should do one.  I definitely can't wait until 12 weeks.  My m/c happened at 9w4d last fall.  I'm 7w2d today.   I'm thinking AT LEAST one at 10w.  But can I even wait that long to see the twins again???


Wednesday, March 23, 2016

7w1d - Ultrasound!!

The ultrasound went extremely well!   Praise God!!!!!!   2 heartbeats still!  Both measured 7w.  Baby A's HB was 145!   Baby B's HB was 144!  Thank you everyone for all of your prayers!!!!!!  💜💜🌈🌈🙏🙏



Baby B didn't cooperate for a 3D scan.  Probably the boy.  Lol.  ;)



Monday, March 21, 2016

6w6d - Going Mad!

I really really really wish I could TURN MY BRAIN OFF.   I wish that every minute of every day didn't feel like an hour.  I wish it was the very end of April (end of 1st trimester) - NOW.  I wish it was October 25 (38 weeks) - NOW!   The loss from last year completely destroyed my last ounce of confidence in that after hearing a heartbeat, the odds are waaaaaaaaay in my favor that I would bring home a bundle of joy (or two!).   I am tearing up as I write.  Maybe that is a symptom?   I have been symptomless the last few days.  Veins don't count in my book these days.   Just a hint of nausea would ease my fears, even if for only a few minutes.   Infertility post traumatic stress disorder is real and women who have battled infertility for 8 years and have had multiple miscarriages (the worst being my most recent at 9.5 weeks after such a good heartbeat) are definitely in its grips.   I can't be in the 1% again (the odds of of miscarriage at 9.5 weeks weeks with a good heartbeat).   Please God.  Hear my prayer.  Please grace the babies inside of me with CONTINUED LIFE.   Please let them be born healthy, happy, and strong.  Please give me strength for whatever my future holds.  Amen.

Our next sonogram is Wednesday.  37.5 hours from now.  I will be 7w1d.  Please God let our babies be okay!



Wednesday, March 16, 2016

6w1d - 1st Ultrasound!!

I was a nervous wreck all morning!  Our appointment was for 9:00am and they didn't call us back until 9:25am!   We even got there at 8:45am!!!

Here I am holding my mom's hand and Victor is reaching up and holding my arm.  We are saying one last prayer!


Then the sonographer stuck in the ultrasound wand and we immediately saw.....

TWINS!!!

We were all starring with our jaws dropped!   GOD IS GOOD!  


Baby A (can't believe I'm typing that) measured 6w1d with a heartbeat of 122 bpm!
Baby B (two babies!!!) measured 6w0d with a heartbeat of 124bpm!



Tuesday, March 15, 2016

6w0d

Good morning!  The spotting has slowed.  It's still kinda there but hoping it goes away completely today.  :)  Today is a good day.  6 weeks today!  Just need to make it 4 more weeks to get past where I was last fall.   I feel good about this baby.  I hope my intuition is right!   Tomorrow is our first ultrasound.  I am really excited!  Mike and I are of course both going and we are bringing an entourage!  Ha!  Hopefully the sonographer let's us all in!  It will be Mike, me, my mom, his mom, and Victor!   They let us all in for Victor's first ultrasound in 2012!

I had a beautiful sign sent to me by the universe this morning.  This may gross some people out, but to me it is beautiful.  Take a look..... this is what was on the paper towel after my progesterone shot this morning!  I am in awe of it's beauty.  Thank you God for sending me a sign everything is going to be okay!


Coincidentally, this was the inspiration I had planned for today.  
Love everything about all of this!




Monday, March 14, 2016

5w6d

Still spotting!   It went away this morning but is now back - it's 2:50 right now.  It's light and brown but still very disheartening!  Wednesday's sonogram cannot come fast enough!!!!   Praying my little butt off!!!

Love this one (might be a repeat, but I love it)....


Sunday, March 13, 2016

5w5d

Things are going well still!  I may not blog every day.  Sometimes there aren't any symptoms to even report!   Today I feel good.  I actually miscalculated my due date by 1 day.   I think it is 11/8.  That's my mother in law's birthday!   Though, with a scheduled c-section, baby Schloss will most likely be born on 11/1 (39 weeks).  :)  The sooner he/she is out and in my arms the better!

Our first ultrasound is THIS WEDNESDAY!   3/16!!  I'll be 6w1d.  I should see a little HB by then.  So excited!!!

Update: started spotting again in the evening.  It's brown but still unnerving!!!


.

Friday, March 11, 2016

Beta #4 - 18dp6dt

Praise God!
4864
It's a good number.  50 hour doubling.  Up from 39 hour doubling with Monday's number.

Here is the updated chart:


My gut is on a singleton.

The ultrasound is actually next week (Wednesday 3/16) at 6w0d!   I'm a little nervous about not seeing heartbeat(s) (last summer, our baby didn't have one yet at 5w5d, then it was detected at 6w5d).

Praying my butt off!!!

Betas so far:
14dpo = 136*
16dpo = 365
19dpo = 1292
23dpo = 4864


18dp6dt - Symptoms

Beta #4 blood is drawn!  No WE wait!  lol.  Hopefully we hear before 5:08pm today!  Monday was torturous waiting that long!  Praying for over 5,000!!  Praying praying praying.

Symptoms:

Middle of the night - Vivid dream.  Peed once.

Morning - Tongue scraper blood.  

Mid-day - Hard to eat whole lunch - just didn't want to eat.

Afternoon - Nothing really.

Evening - Tired after dinner.

♥♥



Thursday, March 10, 2016

17dp6dt - Symptoms & HPTs

Good morning!  Only 1 more wake-up until my final beta!   I just want that beta over and done with (and get a good number - hoping for 5,550+).    I think I'll stop testing after tomorrow's beta as long as it's a decent number.

Symptoms:

Middle of the night - Peed twice but that's only because I kept waking up and was like "mighgt as well pee" - not that I actually had to pee.  lol

Morning - Tongue scraper blood.  Bleeder after the PIO injection.

Mid-day - Nothing.

Afternoon - Cramps after lunch.

Evening - Tiny bit tired.   Ute pulls here and there.  Freezing.  Tongue scraper blood.


Love this one.  This sure has been a looooooong road.  Our TTC journey started EIGHT years ago.  2008.  I really hope we can get to our "destination" this year and finally have the family we always dreamed of!

HPTs:

Loving this view... Clearblue Digital weeks estimator at 3+, dark FRER, and dark wondfos!!!   Beautiful site!!   Praise God!!

A tiny peak into my madness - the madness of an 8 year infertility war veteran:
Wondfo progression, new FRER progression, clearblue digital progression, FRRR progression, Top Care hpt progression




Wednesday, March 9, 2016

16dp5dt - Symptoms

Good morning!  Only 2 more wake-ups until my final beta!   5 weeks pregnant today!  Our baby is the size of a sesame seed and his/her heart will start beating THIS WEEK!!!

Symptoms:

Middle of the night - slept like a rock, peed once when Mike's alarm went off, vivid dream I was making out with Adam Lambert lol.

Morning - Nothing.

Mid-day - A few pulls here and there when I move.

Afternoon - A few pulls here and there when I move.

Evening - Tired after work but then fine after dinner.  A few pulls here and there when I move.  No TSB.




Tuesday, March 8, 2016

15dp6dt - Symptoms & HPTs

Feeling grateful this morning.   Grateful for the awesome beta yesterday!  

Symptoms:

Middle of the night - slept like a rock - didn't pee at all

Morning - Tongue scraper blood.

Mid-day - Nothing.

Afternoon - Nothing.

Evening - Very full after eating.  One tiny tan spot.  Right side ute pangs.  Tongue scraper blood.

Some of these may be repeats, but I absolutely love them...

New curved FRER 15dp6dt test line finally darker than control line!

Think the wondfos are maxed out!  :)





Monday, March 7, 2016

Beta #3 - 14dp6dt

Praise the Lord!!
1292!!
Thrilled with that.   39 hour doubling time (up from 34 hour doubling, but still great!).

Betas so far:
14dpo = 136*
16dpo = 365
19dpo = 1292


Thinking about my second child all the time.....


14dp6dt - Symptoms & HPTs

I am a nervous wreck for today's beta.  See yesterday's post.  The FRER was definitely lighter than the night before.  Ugh ugh ugh.

Symptoms:

Middle of the night - peed only once, cramps after peeing

Morning - barely any tongue scraper blood

Mid-day - Bloated for like 5 minutes after lunch.

Afternoon - Maaaaaaybe one ute tweak?  Feeling like I'm grasping at "symptoms" now.

Evening - Increased sense of smell?  Veiny.  Tongue scraper blood.  Maybe a few lower right dull aches in the ute.

I need to read this over and over and over and over and over and....

HPTS:
14dp6dt wondfo:

14dp6dt curved frer:



Sunday, March 6, 2016

13dp6dt - Symptoms & HPTs

Eager for tomorrow's 3rd beta!!

Symptoms:

Middle of the night - peed 3 times, vivid dreams

Morning - None

Mid-day - Yellow cm.

Afternoon - None

Evening - The smell of Mike's dinner (pork and broccoli) was grossing me out.  Tongue scraper blood.  Slightly veiny.

<3 <3 <3 

HPTS:

Ugh, last night's FRER was DEFINITELY lighter than the night before.  :(

See, clearly lighter...  :(

FRRR (first response rapid result) was at least darker than the one from 2 nights ago:

Bottom 3 wondfo all dipped in the same pee.  2 of which are darker than the 3 from the previous night.





Saturday, March 5, 2016

Beta #2 Update

I got the results from the other lab this morning!
416!!
We are so happy!   Okay, so I think this is the last time we'll use the lab that gives these gloriously extra high numbers so this blog post is devoted to math!

Lab 1 - Labcorp

Here are my numbers from Wednesday and from Friday from Lab 1 (Labcorp).

14dpo = 155
16dpo = 416


Lab 2 - ACL

And here are my numbers (the first one derived) from Lab 2 (ACL):

14dpo = 136
16dpo = 365


Lab 2 (ACL) is where beta 3 and beta 4 will be from.  Beta 3 will be 19dpo.   Hoping for 1095 (to be a 48 hour doubling time).  But that would acutally be a lot slower than the 33.7 hour doubling time of the first two betas.  So I'm hoping for more like 1500 or so!  



12dp6dt - Symptoms & HPTs

Being daring and switching blog titles from days post transfer to weeks pregnant.   I know things could still happen, but TODAY I am pregnant.  So I am going to enjoy the moment!!!

Symptoms:

Middle of the night - peed once - cramps after.

Morning - Tongue scraper blood.

Mid-day - Tired

Afternoon - Uterine tweaks

Evening - More tweaks during dinner.  Slightly nauseous.  Tired.  Tongue scraper blood.


HPTS:
12dp6dt new curved frer (almost the same darkness as the control line):

Comparing 11dpt and 12dpt new curved frer:

Did 3 wondfos (all three bottom ones dipped in the same pee):

Friday, March 4, 2016

Beta #2 - 11dp6dt / 16dpo

My clinic just called with the beta results!!   (from lab 2)
365!!
God is good!!!!!   Thank you, everyone one of you reading this who have been praying with me!

I plot it on the beta hcg graph tool (which showed a 38 hr rise - which is awesome), but I want to know how close the lab that reported 365 is to the lab I used for beta #1 first.  I went to both labs today within the span of 30 minutes so they should be close.  I read labs can vary up to 10% - give or take.


Copied this from beta 1's post...
I am considering it 16dpo at the time of the draw.  Even though it was a 6 day transfer (6dt), the blastocysts were at a 5 day stage when transferred.


11dp6dt - Symptoms & HPTs

I just had my second beta drawn (twice actually).    I probably won't hear until late this afternoon the results from the one lab, and I won't hear until at least tomorrow morning the results from the other lab (this is the lab I used for beta 1 - I duplicated draws today so I can get an accurate doubling since betas differ from lab to lab).  

So nervous today.   No symptoms today.   Wish I was nauseous or something!

Symptoms:

Middle of the night - peed once - no cramps after.

Morning - Tongue scraper blood.   Yellow cm.

Mid-day - Nothing much.  Tiny tan spot.

Afternoon - Slightly thirsty.   Super duper bloated around 4.

Evening - Tired after dinner.  Veiny.  Tongue scraper blood.


HPTS:
Wondfos

Ignore the one peeking at the very top (yesterday's dried test), but the top one is another curved FRER and the bottom one is a FRRR (first response rapid result).  Just wanted to see if I could match the control line on SOMETHING given my beta today of 365!  

Curved FRERs - 9dpt, 10dpt, and 11dpt all "wet" under 60 minutes



Thursday, March 3, 2016

Beta #1 - 9dp6dt / 14dpo

So, I may or may not have had my beta drawn yesterday.  And I may or may not know the result!

So yesterday, I had to have TSH drawn, so while I was in the labcorp waiting room, I went to walkinlab.com and ordered a HCG quantitative blood test requisition.  It was only $37!

I just got the results.......
155!!

I am FLOORED to say the least.  Those lines on the FRERS are anything but 155 worthy!  lol

I am considering it 14dpo at the time of the draw.  Even though it was a 6 day transfer (6dt), the blastocysts were at a 5 day stage when transferred.

Here's my dot on the famous graphing tool:


10dp6dt - Symptoms & HPTs

Soooo, just got my beta #1 results!  See other post :) ....

Symptoms:

Middle of the night - peed once - mild cramps when I got back in bed.

Morning - Tongue scraper blood.  Cramps when I put on too tight of pants. 

Mid-day - A few cramps and some light brown spotting.   Feel bloated after lunch.

Afternoon - Tiny bit thirsty.

Evening - Super tired after dinner.  Veiny chest/arms, tongue scraper blood.

My fear of this failing will not make me a prisoner!!!

10dp6dt HPTs:

Wondfo was a champ tonight!

New curved FRER is still slow to darken but looking good:

Under 60 minute comparison of 8dpt, 9dpt, and 10dpt curved FRERs

Curved FRER-a-thon