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We had many struggles spread over 4 years to have our son Victor in 2012. We are now continuing our infertility journey to give him a sibling. I decided to start a blog after realizing I have only been able to make it through my TWW's (two week waits) with the help of Google and with the openness of other women suffering from infertility sharing their own stories and giving others hope. I have time and time again found my exact symptoms on other women's blogs and felt an overwhelming sense of calmness they provided me. I thought it was time to pay it forward and hopefully provide this same thing to other women on their own journeys.

Saturday, February 6, 2016

1 or 2?

Mike and I are thinking maybe we should just put both embryos in.

1. We still wouldn't know the gender if one took and they both have been through so much.

2. I'd rather only go through one transfer.

3. I'm not scared of twins happening since we've done 2 embryos 6 times now (and one transfer was only 1). It also wouldn't eat a second $3k out of our $20k doing a second transfer and we could use the money towards fresh embryos later if these two didn't take.

4. I would also be sad if we did 1 at a time, and the first didn't take, and we did alllllllll this stuff for a second transfer (scratch, uterine massages, etc) just for that last one to not make the thaw and get cancelled or something......THAT would blow.  This reason alone is making me think we should just put both in.

Am I crazy?

Friday, February 5, 2016

PGS results are in! ALREADY!

We were shocked that we missed a call from the director of the embryology lab today.  We weren't expecting results for another 4-5 days!   I called back and got her voicemail.  Mike called back and also got her voicemail.  She eventually called and I made Mike answer the phone....

Out of 4 embryos, 2 are normal (euploid)!  

We are so thankful!

We also found out the gender of each embryo.   Drum roll... 1 boy and 1 girl!

Now we are so torn about what to do!  Transfer both?  Transfer the girl?  Transfer whichever is the better embryo?   We are actually leaning toward the latter option.  My body really couldn't carry twins with my scoliosis.  I really don't want to risk a twin pregnancy and have something happen to one or both of them because it was a twin pregnancy!  My heart desires a girl, so I think if I chose the female embryo, and it didn't work, I'd be super sad.  Of course I would still give the boy a shot.

So all that being said, Mike and I are leaning towards transferring 1 (eSet = elective single embryo transfer) and asking to NOT know the gender of the one they choose.  If we were blessed that transfer #8 resulted in a baby, we would most likely transfer the remaining embryo someday anyways.  I couldn't just leave one behind!   And if we transferred them both over 2 transfer it might help success rates of bringing home a baby because my uterus might suck one cycle and be optimal the next.  So, I think that's the plan.

Anyone think we should do something else?

Wednesday, February 3, 2016

FET 6 Dates Set!

The clinic called with my dates!  So long as the PGS results come back (next week) that we have at least one normal embryo, the dates will be:

Lining check - Monday 2/15
Start progesterone - Wednesday 2/17
Transfer - Monday 2/22

This will be our 8th transfer!  Transfer #8!   I wonder how few women have gone through so many transfers.  The women at the clinic often comment that my folder is one of the thickest they have seen!

Tuesday, February 2, 2016

Embryo update

Praise the Lord!  ALL FOUR EMBRYOS expanded and were still hanging in there today!   So all 4 were biopsied and refrozen (revitrified).  We should have the PGS NGS results next week!!!

Monday, February 1, 2016

Lab Called

This seems like bad news..... the lab called and said that ALL FOUR of my embryos didn't expand enough to be biopsied today (for PGS) and that they will check them in the morning and biopsy them then if they make it overnight.  :(   I'm so sad.  I just feel like crying.   I just feel like I got the news that they all bit it already.   Ugh.......  :(    Will they handle being in the petri dish until day 6 (and day 7 for one)?!??

Let this FET cycle commence!

AF arrived on time!  CD 1 today for a potential transfer #8 (FET #6)!  Which is cool because CD 1 falls on the first of the month so it will be really easy to remember what CD I'm on.  I started estrogen patches today.  Will start vag estrogen in a couple days when things settle down down there.  lol  

Coincidentally, they will thaw/biopsy my 4 embryos today for PGS!  They will call me later to let me know how it went.  I should have the results next Tuesday or Wednesday!!   I pray there are 2 normal (euploid) embryos.  0 would be tramatic.  1 would scare me.  3 would be okay but I'd wonder what to do with the 3rd one.  4 would actually be amazing but statistically almost impossible.

Saturday, January 30, 2016

Uterine Massage

Had my uterine massage today.  It was so relaxing.  She put castor oil on my lower abdomen and put a hot water bladder over it.  She let that settle in while massaging my face, shoulders, scalp (omg love this part), and feet.   She then removed the hot water bladder and massaged the oil into my belly.  After that she massaged my back and neck.  It was amazing!  Can't wait for the next appointment!

She had me choose a card from a mother's desk.  I got the "mirror" and this is what the book had to say about it.   What stood out to me was: "Self-love tells you to stop looking for the answers outside. The key is to rest in knowing that nothing separates you from love.  Love is always loving you [yourself].  The beloved that you seek is you all along - you have been knocking from the inside!"