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We had many struggles spread over 4 years to have our son Victor in 2012. We are now continuing our infertility journey to give him a sibling. I decided to start a blog after realizing I have only been able to make it through my TWW's (two week waits) with the help of Google and with the openness of other women suffering from infertility sharing their own stories and giving others hope. I have time and time again found my exact symptoms on other women's blogs and felt an overwhelming sense of calmness they provided me. I thought it was time to pay it forward and hopefully provide this same thing to other women on their own journeys.

Monday, April 21, 2014

Nothing to Report

I just wanted to touch base with everyone.  I'm still alive.  Things are just going sooooooo slowly now that I have to pass time getting my thyroid under control.   I guess there is a small announcement.  I have contacted an actual thyroid doctor to help me get this under control instead of solely relying on a fertility doctor to cure my thyroid ailments.  They were going to get me in this month but we decided to wait until after my next thyroid check on May 5th to see how I'm doing with the new dose.  I see them on May 8th.   That's it!  Sorry for being so boring lately!

Monday, April 7, 2014

Orders and the Wait Continues

I just realized I left everyone hanging!   Of course my cycle was officially cancelled.  I was told to stop all estrogen meds and was given a prescription for Provera (oral progesterone for 5 days and once stopped my flow will come).   They figured I needed Provera with cancelling the cycle mid period cycle like that.  Fine by me.  My Synthroid dose was also upped from 50mcg to 100mcg.   They want to recheck it on May 5th.  


That last sentence hurt to type.  I hate waiting.  I am not a patient person what-so-ever.  So now I wait to fix my TSH level (to below 2.5 from 5.04).   Once that is fixed THEN we can start a cycle.  So it won't be until end of May or beginning of June until we even think about transferring those last two embryos.  This is unfortunate because my gut just doesn't really believe in those two.  They are only day 3.  I hope to God to be proven wrong.  I hope my boy/girl twins read my blog one day and say, "man mom, you didn't believe in us?"  Sorry kiddos....mom doesn't.  Frozen on only day 3 (as opposed to heartier day 5) and not the greatest quality.

Since they most likely will fail, we WILL be doing another IVF in the summer.  I have been on a MILLION supplements to build egg quality.  A hundred dollars of month worth (I haven't officially added this up, but it must be something close to that).  I just want to get IVF #3's egg retrieval out of the way so I can stop taking all of these pills.  It's not the money I am worried about.  I worry about injesting so many weird things all at the same time day in and day out.  I may be helping my eggs, but I'm probably killing my kidneys and liver.  Ha!

Thursday, April 3, 2014

Cycle Cancelled

I am crushed.   As a reminder, my TSH was 4.94 four weeks ago so the plan was to put me on Synthroid (of which they put me on generic medication).  Not only did my thyroid TSH not go down to below 2.0, it didn't even get below 2.5 (my upper limit).  It didn't even get below 3.7 (the clinic's upper limit).  No.  It is now 5.07.  I am crushed.  I am upset.  I am confused.  I am bummed.  I am pissed.  I am UGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!   How did this happen?  How did I up and get a thyroid issue in the first place?  I am just so bummed.  I just felt like something wasn't right.  I just felt like I wasn't going to transfer embryos in 5 days.  It just didn't feel right.  And this is why.  :(  I am not even sure what I am supposed to do next since they kinda just left me hanging until I pestered them at the end of the day for results.  The doctor isn't even around anymore to even know what to do.  I cancelled my lining check for tomorrow and am not even sure if I should stop taking my estrogen pills (orally and vaginally).  I know my cycle is cancelled but I am not sure if I just stop the estrogen what that will do to my cycle (which wasn't messed up to date... and I really don't want to add to the issues here).  Sigh.  :(

Monday, March 24, 2014

Transfer Date Scheduled

They want me to recheck my TSH level on Thursday 4/3 and then do my lining check on Friday 4/4 if all goes well with my TSH check.  They also want me to add 2 estrace internally (1 in the morning 1 at bedtime) to give my ute some extra estrogen to plump up.  They also moved my transfer to Wednesday 4/9.

FET #3 is Underway

Surprisingly AF arrived today.   I honestly didn't think she'd show up until next Monday after having a +OPK just last Monday.  So I spoke through email with my nurse Dawn.   They want me to start my estrace pills and they will do a lining check next Thursday (4/3) with a tentative transfer date of the following Monday (4/7) or Tuesday (4/8)!!!!!

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Positive OPK

Soooooo I've been taking ovulation tests daily.   My main goal of taking them was to be able to time when my next period will show up to be able to get the FET underway.   My subgoal was a piece of me always holds out a shred of hope for getting that absolute miracle BFP the cycle before a transfer.  It has happened.  I have seen it first hand with a very lucky lady on my fertility forum.   She was gearing up to do a FET, went to Europe or something, and found out she was pregnant!   Miracles do happen!

Anyways....... I popped the test positive on Monday (3/17) when I took one after work.   Sooooooo, that means AF most likely won't show up until March 31st (14 days later).  Which means my transfer will most likely be 15 to 20 days after that....so April 15th through 20th.  I'm hoping for Friday the 18th, so I only have to take 1 day off of work and then have the whole weekend to relax.   Of course, ironically, I have a newborn session scheduled for the 19th...ugh.   Of course the transfer won't even happen if the synthroid medication doesn't bring my TSH levels to normal range.

Positive OPK (ovulation predictor kit)......yes, I took a pic.  Going through infertility seeing anything with two lines on it is very exciting stuff!!

(LH line on the left, control line on the right)

Monday, March 17, 2014

Endometrial Scratch and What's Next

So the scratch happened last Friday 3/14 (today's Monday).   It was soooooooo much easier than I anticipated it being.  I popped 2 ibuprofen 1 hour beforehand and all I felt were dull cramps.   Now all I have to do is keep taking my synthroid and pray!

Next up is checking my TSH (thyroid) level on 4/4 or 4/7.   I will already be well underway in my FET schedule by then so hopefully it comes down a  lot by then.  The clinic wants it down to 3.7 but from my googling it really should be below 2.0.   It was 4.94 a couple weeks ago.  Hopefully the synthroid is working!!