About Us

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After an 8 year battle with infertility and countless struggles, our family is finally complete. This blog chronicles the journey it took for us to start and build the family we always wanted. Background on the blog (started in 2012, just days before I found out the embryo transfer for our son worked).... I decided to start a blog after realizing I have only been able to make it through my TWW's (two week waits) with the help of Google and with the openness of other women suffering from infertility sharing their own stories and giving others hope. I have time and time again found my exact symptoms on other women's blogs and felt an overwhelming sense of calmness they provided me. I thought it was time to pay it forward and hopefully provide this same thing to other women on their own journeys.

Friday, October 5, 2012

40w6d - Victor's birth story

Victor's Birth Story

Mike and I arrived at the hospital to get checked in around 4:45pm Thursday October 4th.   I was their to receive a cervical ripener the evening prior to my scheduled induction.   I was hoping to receive Cervidil but found out that I was to receive Cytotec, a drug not approved by the FDA for cervical ripening for inductions.   Needless to say I was really apprehensive about getting it for that purpose then.  I was hooked up to the monitoring equipment to monitor the baby's heartrate and my uterine contractions.  

Around 9:00pm the nurse who was watching us came in and asked if I was feeling the contractions I was having.  I had no idea I was contracting but she said I was contracting every two minutes on my own.  My OB came in shortly there after to tell me they were no longer going to do any cervical ripening because I was progressing well enough on my own.  He checked me and I was 2 centimeters and 50% effaced.  He told me to rest and he would come back and check me around 4:00am.

On Friday, October 5ht, my mom arrived just shortly before 4:00am to be with Mike and I.  At 4:00am I was dilated still at 2cm and was 75% effaced.  They started the pitocin drip at a low amount and ruptured my membranes (broke my water).   There was soooooooooooooooooo much amniotic fluid that it gushed down all the way to my feet.   The labor progressed and my contractions strengthened (still 2 minutes apart) with the pitocin running.   Around 6:30am I was rechecked and had progressed to 3cm.  I decided why suffer with the increasing pain and decided to get an epidural.  

The anesthesiologist came in around 6:30am.  Only 1 of my 2 support people were allowed to stay in the room for that so my mom had to leave.  That was probably for the best because it was really painful having the epidural tube placed into my lower back.  I have scoliosis so my lower back curves to the right and it was hard for him to guide in the needle/tube correctly.  I had to sit on the edge of the bed for the insertion and was told to lean forward and rest my elbows on my legs.  Needless to say with the gigantic belly in the way I couldn't get my elbows to touch my legs.  My nurse, bless her heart, stood in front of me and I gripped her hips as the anesthesiologist was doing his thing.   It was so painful I was gripping her hips and digging my nails into her.  Poor woman.  I even started to cry and she shooshed me to comfort me.  

With an epidural you are required to get a bladder catheter so when you lose most feeling in your lower body you don't pee yourself since you can't walk to the bathroom.  The insertion of the catheter wasn't that bad.  It was just uncomfortable.  HOWEVER, the feeling of the balloon in my bladder holding the catheter in my place was excruciatingly uncomfortable and wouldn't let up.

Two hours later, at 8:30am, the epidural had done ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.  Most likely from my scoliosis.  I wasn't feeling a single iota of pain relief and on top of that the catheter was still excruciatingly uncomfortable.  Rather than having them redo the epidural and risk not only the pain of it being reinserted but it not working again I decided to just have it removed and be done with it.   Plus, the the thought of having the damn catheter removed sounded like heaven.   So they removed the epidural tube and the catheter.  The feeling of having to pee was still so strong, like it was the whole time I was catheterized, that I wanted to go sit on the toilet.  The damn nurse would not let me out of bed because "I just had an epidural."  Hello?!  The damn thing did NOTHING to numb any part of me whatsoever.  My legs were 100% in working order.  Still, she insisted on getting a wheel chair to get me from the bed to the toilet 5 feet away.  That was the shorted wheel chair ride in history.  Anyways, I digress.  Catheters...I hate you.

While all of this was going on my pitocin dosage was being increased intermittently.  The pain was increasing very steadily.  I was given a shot of nubane for the pain.... this pain reliever also did nothing.  Why was I so resistant to pain relief?!?  The pain also had moved into my lower back/pelvis.  It was literally the worst pain I've ever felt in my entire life.  Even worse than all three kidney stones I've passed combined.  I was hoping all this pain meant the end was in site, but when they checked my at 12:30pm, I was only 4cm dilated.  I wanted to cry.

I labored on.  I tried EVERYTHING to relieve the pain.  I got in the shower.  I sat on the yoga ball.  I got on my hands and knees.  I even used the "texas roll" leg holder thingy.  NOTHING eased up my back labor and it was only getting worse.  Might I remind you the contractions were still every two minutes as they had been the entire time.

When they checked me again at 3pm, I was only dilated to 5cm.  So I only got 1cm in 3 hours.   They wanted to see 2cm to 3cm an hour with the high level of pitocin I was now on.   I just couldn't go on.  I was delirious and literally wanted to die.  So when my OB suggested a c-section, due to my "failure to progress " it was literally music to my ears.  I was ready.  I just wanted to pain to end.  Because of the failure of the epidural they feared the spinal (which they typically use for csections) might not work either (because it's also delivered in the spine).  If this were the case, the only way to proceed would be to put me under a general anesthetic and no one would have been allowed in the operating room with me.  My poor mom started to cry with worry and my husband had to leave the room he was so chocked up.  

I was wheeled, alone, to the operating room.  Mike was to come in after the spinal was performed but because it took over 20 minutes for the anesthesiologist to successfully maneuver my crooked spine he thought something terrible happened to me.  After those 20 minutes, I could slowly feel the pain and all sensation disappear from my tortured body from the chest down.  Mike was brought in to sit by my side.  I asked the OB to tell me before he started cutting because I thought I still had some feeling and was scared he'd start before I was numb.  He started without telling me and I hadn't felt a thing.  

A few minutes later, at 4:16pm, on Friday October 5th, Victor Edward Schloss was born.  He topped the scales at 9 pounds 6 ounces.  I loved hearing his cry.  It was one of the most emotional experiences of my life when they carried him over past the curtain so I could see him.  He was just absolutely beautiful.  

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

40w4d - Infertility irony

Soooo, the irony of still being pregnant... I tried for 4 years to get pregnant and now I am trying everything I can think of to get unpregnant and have this baby already!   I had acupuncture yesterday to try and induce labor.  I had a few more braxton hicks than normal last night and even a few cramps.  But I am still pregnant as of today so I don't think the acupuncture worked.  :(

Monday, October 1, 2012

40w2d - Eviction plan

We had a sonogram today to measure Victor's size and amniotic fluid as well as some other stats.  He was practice breathing the whole time and it was adorable.   I also had a non stress test which Victor passed with the help of some juice.  After that we spoke with the OB and came up with an eviction plan.  We will go in Thursday evening at 5pm for the Cervidil application.  We will then spend the night and induce labor Friday morning.