Beta #6 & Ultrasound #3

Small update…… Beta #6 showed my hcg is down to 24. Luckily my body knew what to do and I won’t need a D&C. I go back next Monday to verify the number is down to zero.   An ultrasound also confirmed my uterus is empty.

6w6d Miscarriage

The imminent miscarriage started this morning.   Feels like a normal period (so far) but extra sad knowing there was a baby in there at some point.  :(

I'm on vacation (I went anyways even against doctor's orders) so hopefully I can take my mind off of it.   It's a gloomy day (fitting) here on Hilton Head Island.   We are here until Saturday and are driving back Saturday and Sunday.   I have an appointment with my OB for an ultrasound and blood work Monday.  Hopefully my body knows what to do this week to wrap this emotional episode up. 

Anyways.... We meet with a new RE on July 3rd.  She's a new RE but my old clinic - the one that gave us Victor.   She's super young and I pray she isn't stuck in her old ways like my past two REs.  I hope she takes my Hashimotos, MTHFR, and all that craziness into consideration instead of blowing it off like my last RE.  

So stay tuned.  

Ectopic?

So now they thing it's ectopic and I can't go on vacation?   Fuck.  My.  Life. 

6w2d Ultrasound #2

The gestational sac appeared empty today.  Looks like my body reabsorbed the yolk sac and miscarriage is imminent.   My HPTs have been getting lighter so I can only pray that we can wrap up this whole awful experience with the news of a lower beta today.  Miscarrying while on vacation will utterly suck.  Everyone is going to be so happy around me.  It will make me feel even more alone.

5w6d Beta #5

1537.   104 hour doubling time.  Once betas are above 1200 normal double time is between 72 and 96 hours.  Damn I wish things could just be easier and definitive.  They wanted to do another ultrasound next Monday (6/23) but I will be on vacation until the FOLLOWING Monday (6/30).   My nurse is talking to the doctor and figuring it out and will call me back.

Beta recap:
12dp3dt=88
14dp3dt=165 (52 hour doubling)
18dp3dt=560 (54 hour doubling)
21dp3dt=945 (95 hour doubling)
24dp3dt=1537 (102 hour doubling)

Beta graph.... the slope doesn't look promising.

Plan:  Ultrasound on Thursday (3 days from the last check) and another on Monday the 30th (as soon as we get back from our trip).

5w6d Ultrasound #1

I had an u/s and b/w done today.  THANKFULLY it is NOT ectopic.  There was one gestational sac in my uterus with a yolk sac.   Unfortunately, I didn't see a baby whatsoever.  The tech didn't seem too concerned as I'm just shy of 6 weeks but I feel like there would have been SOMETHING tadpole like in there by now.  Anyways, I know this pic is completely poop as far as quality but it's the best I could do when the tech left the room for 5 seconds.    I will update you all with a beta number once I have it.  Please say more prayers that my baby is just a slow starter!

5w3d Beta #4

It's over.  Only 945.  They think it's ectopic since it needed to be 1400 to match the 54 hour doubling time of the previous betas.  I kinda just want to die right about now.   Sorry for the sad news everyone.  All of your prayers meant so much to me.

Last minute prayers

My blood has been drawn for beta #4.   Any last minute prayers anyone would be willing to lift up would mean the world to Mike and I right now.   Love you guys.

5w0d :(

no words needed....

5w0d Beta #3

Only 560.  Should have been 660 today.   54 hour doubling time which is technically "normal" since "normal" is 48-72 hours.   I'm pretty sad.  :(   I just want to know one way or the other at this point.  Being in beta limbo is PURE AGONY.

PLEASE PRAY FOR US!!

Here's a graph:

5w0d

So yeah, I'm 5 weeks pregnant today (18dp3dt).  Feels so weird to type.  I pray to God it lasts.   I actually had a beta drawn today.  It needs to come back at 660 to double properly from Friday's 165.   Even after yesterday's less dark tests I am hoping 16dp3dt's test was a fluke.  My wondfos, which I swore I'd never take more of, are nice and dark as of last night.  I wish I had taken a wondfo on 16dp3dt so that one damn FRER from that day wouldn't rain on my parade.

17dp3dt wondfos (bottom two):

KEEP PRAYING FOR US!!!!

17dp3dt Ugh

I swear my line isn't as dark as yesterday's.  :(   Yesterday's was darker than the control.  Today's isn't even as dark as the control.

Keep praying for us!!!!

16dp3dt

Everyday I get less nervous but still prayers are welcome!   Today's line looks a SMIDGE darker than the control line!

I honestly still think I had a vanishing twin.... I mean look at these FRER tests.  They get darker to the blue line, then light again, then dark again.  I sincerely think one implanted, didn't take, then the other implanted and is sticking around (knock on wood).

Vanishing twin FRER progression:

 

14dp3dt Beta #2

165!

I cannot believe it!!!!!   It "doubled"!  I put that in quotes cause true double would have been 176 so we're 11 off but I'll take it!!!!!

Next beta isn't until 21dp3dt - a whole week away!

KEEP PRAYING FOR US!!!!!!!

14dp3dt - Waiting

My blood has been drawn and now I wait.  I am a nervous wreck.  Say some last ditch prayers for Mike and I!!

13dp3dt Not sure what to think...

So last night apparently I started getting "darker" again.  Not sure what to think anymore!

I'm a little worried.  Monday night I felt that strong pinching (on the right) and the next day my tests were much lighter.   Today I felt similar pinching on the left.  I  hope I'm not losing the other embryo too!

Keep praying for us!   

12dp3dt Beta #1

88

Normally I'd be happy that it's a decent number but after the drastically lighter lines last night I'm pretty damn bummed.   If you check betabase.info the average singleton beta 15dpo is 187.  I'm about 100 off.

Friday's beta needs to be 176.

Keep saying prayers everyone.  I beg you!

11dp3dt Too good to be true.....

Virtually 100% sure it's over.

Words can't express my sadness right now.  It was looking so good as of yesterday.  

Enough said. 

Going to crawl into a hole now.  

11dp3dt

As I said yesterday, it's looking good folks but we don't want to jinx anything.  Keep us in your prayers!  Beta is in less than 24 hours!!!!   Repeat beta Friday.

Symptoms:  Hungry at night.  Insomnia.   Headache.

Keep the prayers coming!!!!!

10dp3dt

It's looking good folks but we don't want to jinx anything.  Keep us in your prayers!  Got my beta moved up from Friday to Wednesday.  Repeat will be on Friday!

Symptoms:  Evening, some major pinching in the front right uterus area for about 20 minutes.  Hopefully an embryo implanting deeper!   Veiny chest and arms.  Hungry at night.

Keep the prayers coming!!!!!