No medical updates... bitchfest ensuing...continue reading at your own risk.....
I wish I could be happy for them. I AM happy for them - a little - but my sadness for myself trumps any shred of happiness I have for them. You see, several friends have recently shared me with they are pregnant. Even a few of my INFERTILE friends are pregnant and yet I still am just so sad/mad - "why them and not me?" A close friend in real life (aka, not an internet friend) told me at a family party recently that she's pregnant but not announcing it yet. This one stung because I would have been the same "weeks along" as her if I didn't miscarry. An internet friend (aka, someone from my infertility forums) posted a sonogram photo on our hidden groups' Facebook page. She's 8.5 weeks. Just under what I would have been if I didn't miscarry. This one stung because not only is it visual, but she was almost doomed for a miscarriage herself. Her early betas not only were incredibly low, they REALLY didn't double at first. Back then I thought for sure I was going to carry to term and she was going to sadly, miscarry. How the world turned on me. Now I get to stare at the tiny little arms and legs of her 8.5 week miracle on my Facebook feed (update... I found out how to hide this post from my feed). I really don't want to be this bitter. And I sure as hell don't want to be looked at as bitter either. It is just hard watching so many women/friends walking around pregnant. Why can't I have that? Why can't I grow my family too? No one can understand my heart unless they have been there too - and I know a lot of you reading this are there too. Hang in there. I hope we can all make it out together.
- Lauree and Mike
- After an 8 year battle with infertility and countless struggles, our family is finally complete. This blog chronicles the journey it took for us to start and build the family we always wanted. Background on the blog (started in 2012, just days before I found out the embryo transfer for our son worked).... I decided to start a blog after realizing I have only been able to make it through my TWW's (two week waits) with the help of Google and with the openness of other women suffering from infertility sharing their own stories and giving others hope. I have time and time again found my exact symptoms on other women's blogs and felt an overwhelming sense of calmness they provided me. I thought it was time to pay it forward and hopefully provide this same thing to other women on their own journeys.